“A good name is more desirable than great riches,” the Bible tells us, “to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.” We all want to be respected, but some of us have odd names that are difficult to pronounce or spell, eliciting confused looks or titters of laughter rather than reverence. For example, in the world of sports, Duke basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski (shə-SHEF-skee), better known as “Coach K,” for obvious reasons. Some are just funny, like the Cleveland Indians’ Coco Crisp, or the Green Bay Packers’ Ha Ha Clinton-Dix.
The world of golf has been full of interesting and odd names since the game began. Today, the LPGA Tour features a player from Thailand named Sherman Santiwiwatthanaphong. Wow! The U.S. Open, first played in 1895, and the second oldest championship in the world next to the British Open (the Open Championship to purists), may not have a name that can challenge “Ms. S.,” but there have been several worthy of mention.
Many winners have had funny names: Horace Rawlins (1895), Francis Ouimet (1913), Chick Evans (1916), Orville Moody (1969), Fuzzy Zoeller (1984), Eldrick Tont “Tiger” Woods (2000, 2002, 2008) – but Curtis Strange (1988, 1989) is literally “strange.” It’s nothing new. In 1896 a guy named James Mackrell teed it up. If ESPN had been around then, Chris Berman might have dubbed him James “Holy Mackerel.” In 1902 we had Jack Jolly, but was he really?
In an eerie twist, Old Tom Morris, winner of four British Opens and an icon of the golf world, died on May 24, 1908. That August 27, Tom Morris shot a 101 at Myopia Hunt Club in Massachusetts, and then withdrew. There is no evidence that the ghost of Old Tom came upon him between rounds and told him to give it up, pained by the sullying of his own good name by this inept tyro.
There are “fishy” names: Dan Herring and John Bass (both 1954), meet Chick Trout (1926). And rhyming ones: Jim Pringle (1931) meet Ed Kringle (1962) – we don’t know if he had a brother named Kris. Others are religious: George Christ and Ben Lord (both 1922), meet Neil Christian (1927) and Andy Pope (2015).
There are comedian names: Eddie Murphy and Lou Costello (both 1926) – “Who’s on the first tee Eddie?” – “What?” – “No, ‘What’s the name of leader in the clubhouse.’”
There are President’s names: John Kennedy (1971) and John Adams (1980), do you solemnly swear to faithfully execute an 8-iron punch shot under the wind to a back hole location? We’ve had kings and queens: Elwood Queen (1916) and numerous Kings - Rufus (1938), Walter (1957), Claude and Jim (both 1966), Kevin (1977), and Bill (1990). A birdie, a birdie, my kingdom for a birdie.
There have been players with names that don’t inspire us to hit good shots: Wiffy Cox (1924) – don’t miss the ball buddy, H.J. Topping – keep your head down (1915), Otto Hackbarth (1912), but he couldn’t have been too much of a hacker since he tied for 7th that year. Neither was Clarence Hackney, who tied for 8th 1921. Bobby Cruickshank didn’t shank much, since he was a great player who finished high up in many Opens (including a playoff loss to Bobby Jones in 1923), while Craig Shankland (1973) was a one-timer.
We’ve had animals: besides “Tiger” Woods, there’s been a Dear (Terry in 1991), and two rabbits; Bunny Torpey (1930) and Bunny Mason (1961). There have been “guns”: Watts Gunn (1926) – who was a friend of Bobby Jones, Will Gunn (1933), Roger Gunn (1989), Jimmy Gunn and Gunn Yang (2015).
There have been many types of “waters”: E.D. Vandewater (1902), Harry (1907) and Richard (1952) Waters, Crawford Rainwater (1937), Robert Goldwater (1941) – who was the brother of U.S. Senator Barry Goldwater, Keith Clearwater (1980), Cleve Coldwater (1986), and a whole body of water - H.S. Lake (1919).
E.E. Peele (1948), did you know e e cummings by chance? Leland Pyle (1951), were you kin to Gomer? Is golf like a box of chocolates, Scott Gump (1991)?
Skee Reigel (1946), meet Skeeter Heath (1983); James West (1919) meet 1978 champion Andy North; Jack Hoerner (1941), don’t sit in a corner, get out there and play. Jack Croke (1908) didn’t after finishing 45th, but played eight more times.
Terry (1972) and Mike (1994) Small, meet Ted Huge (1953). Smiley Quick (1946), meet Smylie Kaufman (2014). Loddie Kempa (1954), meet Brooks Koepka (2012). Rocky Rich (1929), meet Monte Money (1979).
There have been a few “Macs”: Mac Main (1960), Mac Hunter (1961), Mac McLendon (1968), and more “skis” than you’ll find at a Polish family reunion: Kasmir Zabrowski (1938), Walter Nagorski (1949), Richard Karbowski, John Zebroski and Gary Domagalski (all 1981), Walter Zembriski (1982) Bruce Zabriski (1986), Tom (1992) and Paul (1994) Stankowski, and Scott Gutschewski (2009). They sound like blue collar guys who might want to have a cold beverage after the round with Chet Beer (1929) and Sam Adams (1997).
What would golf be without aristocratic sounding names? Austere Claeyssens (1925), Celestino Tugot (1955), Casmere Jawor (1966), Harcourt Kemp (1971), Pierre-Henri Soero (2005), and Estanislao Goya (2013). Hard to imagine Mr. Tugot sharing a brew and pretzels with the likes of Mr. Nagorski.
There have been players with odd names but interesting back stories. Otey Crisman (1939) came up with the idea in the mid-1940s of a mallet head putter, which he cast in aluminum, and after fitting it with a hickory shaft, used it to tie for 31st in 1946. He soon figured out there was more money to be made selling his putters than in playing – Cary Middlecoff used one to win two U.S, Opens – and the Otey Crisman Golf Putter Company began.
Ellsworth Vines was one of the best tennis players in the world in the 1930s, winning Wimbledon in 1932. When he got bored with tennis, he turned to golf. His best finish in the U.S. Open was a tie for 14th in 1948 and 1949.
Emerick Kocsis, one of 14 children, tied for 30th in 1929, but his brother Chuck was one of the all-time great amateurs, a member of three Walker Cups teams who had 3 top-20 finishes in the Open, his best a tie for 10th in 1937. He won tournaments over a period of 61 years, even after suffering a broken back in a car accident in 1948, and first shot his age when 59 (on a 6,400 yard course).
Rives McBee (1966) equaled the then record 18-holes score of 64 that year and finished tied for 13th, and would later win three times on the Senior Tour (now PGA Tour Champions). Jumbo Ozaki (his given name is Masashi), a member of the World Golf Hall of Fame, is a legend in Japan and tied for 6th in 1989. Fred Funk was rarely in one on the course, and had many high finishes in the Open, his best a tie for 6th in 2004. He later won the U.S. Senior Open in 2009.
As we come down the stretch, here are some names, a mixture of funny and odd, that just tickle me: Elliott Whitebread (1928), Kully Schlicht (1932), Nemo Sherba (1938) – was he looking for Dory?, Verl Stinchcomb (1938), Rader Jewett (1939), Scudday Horner (1946), Guinea Kop (1948), Cleophas McVicker – wasn’t he a Senator from South Carolina around 1873? (1948), Oliver Sleppy (1934), Steve Doctor (1951), Don Dunkelberger (1950), Milon Marusic (1952), Jimmy Ukauka and Al Feminelli (both 1955), Charles Wipperman (1957), Ockie Eliason – sounds like a farmer from North Dakota (1966), Bunky Henry (1969) finished 9th that year, and previously was a place kicker for Georgia Tech, Victor Loustalot (1970), Sale Omohundro (1978) – what?, and David Smail (2003) – any relation to Judge Smails from Caddyshack? Too bad the Judge never played in a U.S. Open. I can see him now, putting his ball on a peg as an impatient Ben Hogan glares at him. Turning to Hogan, he growls, “Do you mind, sir! I’m trying to tee off.”